So what is it like having a child with autism?

So, what is it like having a child with autism?

I get this question a lot and actually like it when people ask. Unless a person has significant contact with someone on the spectrum he/she doesn't really understand what an autism driven world is about. Saying that, it isn't always easy to convey what having a child with autism is like. After much consideration, this is what I've come up with -

For me, having a child with autism is like living with an alien from another planet. I call him the "reluctant astronaut (R.A.)" because he really didn't want to come to earth, had absolutely no interest in this space mission. As a result, he didn't pay much attention at the briefings prior to the mission so doesn't know anything about Planet Earth - nothing about language, customs, or Earthling niceties in general. In fact, he is so disinterested in Earth that even though he was sent here, he has absolutely no desire to assimilate into Earth society. Meaning he still doesn't give a rat's ass about Earth mores.

That's also how I "explain" things he does that are pretty much unfathomable to me. For example - for a certain time period he liked to sit in the toilet. No, not on the toilet but in the toilet. I reasoned that on the home planet the toilet is a jacuzzi. Although eventually we managed to break him of this habit, the jacuzzi explanation popped again during potty training when the R.A. demonstrated not only an aversion to the toilet but would have all out nuttys when placed on one. He was probably thinking, "Poop in the jacuzzi? What is wrong with you people? Miscreants!" That's what he would say if he could speak English or any Earthing dialect.

For a time I was also convinced that not only was he a reluctant astronaut but was actually an alien cat that somehow ended up in a human body. It does make sense -

Cat

Has to everything his way

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto

Cat

Don't touch me!

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto

Cat

Doesn't speak human language

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto

Cat

Doesn't wear clothes

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto (Well, would if he had his way)

Of course I don't really believe my son to be a Reluctant Astronaut.

But sometimes it sure makes sense!

Disclaimer: Although I sometimes describe things about life with my R.A. in a humorous way, please understand that I am not laughing at him. He is my son and I love him very very much. I come from a family that had its share of challenges and I learned from a young age that laughter is powerful. A situation cannot completely hurt you if you are able to find humor and laugh at some parts of it. So that's what I do. And I don't use humor solely with the R.A. My daughter was born with a heart condition that required immediate surgery. (No, I don't make good babies. They come out broken.) She was whisked away by ambulance to the hospital in Boston. It was all unexpected and traumatic. A nice young intern came to speak with my husband and me and was re-assuring us that nothing we had done caused the baby's condition. The stress and sorrow were overwhelming. When the nice young intern concluded I turned to my husband and said, "See, I told you it wasn't from all that smack I did during my pregnancy." The intern froze and then let out this huge belly laugh. Was I appropriate? Probably not. But I had to do something to relieve the stress. Astronaut life is stressful so find the laughter where you can.
And as G.K. Chesterton said, "Humor can get through the keyhole when seriousness is still hammering at the door."

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Would you like fries with that?

That depends.  Where are they from?

As I earlier posted, one of the few Earth "foods" that the R.A. will eat are french fries, specific french fries.  He does not eat them plain but rather enjoys them with his favorite condiment - ketchup.  Currently we are lucky that he is not fussy about the brand of ketchup.  (Not that we are unaware that that will be coming.)  We were thrilled when the R.A. discovered ketchup as we thought, "Hey!  He's finally eating a vegetable!  He's eating something that has components that are not solely factory produced!"  We were giddy with the thought of all that Vitamin C he was ingesting.

I do think the R.A. enjoys the combination of the fried strips of potatoes and tangy tomato goodness.  Eventually he recognized that the ketchup on its own is a pretty delish treat and would smear the ketchup on his hands and lap it up.  Again, this was o.k. with us as the R.A. was "eating healthier."  Plus, once he tired of the lapping he designed some wonderful finger paintings on the table top.  And - this is very important - it kept him occupied for 5 minutes.  (It's amazing the things we let the R.A. do in the name of keeping him occupied - unraveling entire rolls of toilet paper, ripping a coloring book to minuscule pieces, coloring in his latest IEP.)

Due to his limited diet you can imagine how excited we were when the R.A. became interested in chicken nuggets.  For years, doctors, nurses, dietitians, school staff, support staff, family, friends some cashiers at Stop and Shop, the girl behind the counter at Dunkin' Donuts have all been saying, "Gee, you ought to try to see if he'll eat chicken nuggets." Obviously, contrary to their beliefs that we are a pair of dopes, we had repeatedly tried the R.A. on chicken nuggets.  Even we know that chicken nuggets are de rigeur for the toddler and preschool set.  We would place one in front of him and  he would wave his hand over it.  His disdainful expression clearly read, "Remove this slop."

But for some reason (maybe his orders from home dictated it), the R.A. actually started to ask for chicken.  It wasn't long (even for us) before we quickly realized why the change of heart.  It wasn't so much an interest in chicken as a food but rather an increased like for ketchup.  The fries were not large enough to scoop up all that red, sweet and sour yumminess.  The R.A. understood that the nuggets were bigger therefore he could get bigger mouthfuls of ketchup.  So basically the nuggets are like spoons.

His love affair with ketchup has led to some experimentation.  The R.A. quite enjoys his raw baby carrots and ketchup, but then who doesn't - yummo!  Over the weekend he attempted to combine his red nectar with green grapes.  Too weird even for him.

Most recent missive home:
Vaporize the humans.  Save the ketchup.

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