The Boob Toob

The R.A. has 5 television programs he enjoys:
1. Thomas the Tank Engine
2. Thomas the Tank Engine
3. Thomas the Tank Engine
4. The Backyardigans
5. Go Go Diego

Numbers 4 and 5 are DISTANT 4th and 5th place qualifiers.  I think he just throws them in to show that he's really a flexible, "roll with it" kind of guy, not bogged down by routine.  You know, like most people on the Autism spectrum.

As the R.A. is in constant motion, his television experience is also quite cardio-vascular.  The experience begins with him roughly thrusting or tossing the remote at you while demanding, "Thomash show.  Thomash show." (translation: Thomas show.  Thomas show.) or on those occasions when he's feeling daring and devil may care, "Backyahdibans.  Backyahdibans." (translation: Backyardigans.  Backyardigans.)  Unfortunately the R.A.'s never been a master of timing and his demand for his television program tends to coincide at inopportune times, like when you're making his sister's dinner or in the shower.  The R.A. does not want to hear any of your excuses like you're frying an egg or naked and soaking wet.  Just get it done, immediately if not sooner.

Once you finally get your act together and put the demanded show on, next commences a quick series of "suicides", to and fro in front of the television set.  Many times you're certain he's going to barrel into the TV but he always manages to stop fast, sometimes inches from the screen.  This may be his viewing experience's warm up.

Following the suicides are jumping jacks or rather the R.A.'s version - jumping up and down at a frantic pace while rapidly flapping his hands and yowling.  This is done directly in front of the television.

Then the R.A. becomes more reflective and ceases his frantic movements.  Now he stands less than an inch from the television and flicks at the screen with his fingers, "Plinck, plinck, plinck."  Occasionally he will cry out, maybe warning one of the characters of an upcoming catastrophe (usually involving the trains displeasing that Sir Topham Hatt - what a despot!  Those silly trains never learn they can never please that man.  They're always being set up for failure.  Just once I'd like to see an episode where Thomas snaps and runs over him - repeatedly, while screaming,  "Who's the useful engine now, old man?!!!")

Sometimes there can be variations, especially if he is watching his show while eating.  This afternoon, after the accepted television viewing procedure - suicides, jumping, flicking - he also spent some down time eating a banana (his third of the afternoon) while sitting in a chair and dangling his feet in his toy box.  I think he was also attempting to pick up some toys up with his toes.  Obviously.  I mean, what else does one do while eating a banana?

Although the R.A. would prefer only his television shows, he is magnanimous and will graciously allow us to occasionally view our own shows.  The other night the entire family, including the R.A., was in the living room watching television, a "non-R.A." program.  We'd been watching for a while when my mother remarked that the R.A. had us well trained.  It took a moment for me to figure out what she was talking about.  Even though it wasn't his television show, the R.A. was still adhering to his television viewing protocol.  This meant that 95% of the time he was in front of the TV, pretty much blocking it.  Instead of telling him to move, as a "normal" family would, we simply craned our necks and re-adjusted our own sitting positions in attempts to see around the R.A.  It had never occurred to us to move him.  Do you think after this realization we then moved him?

Are you mad?  That's not proper procedure.