There are two people the R.A. finds fascinating. One is his sister but I believe that fascination is primarily due to her stuff. The second person is my brother. I think part of this interest stems from the fact that when the R.A. looks at his uncle he is looking into the face of the future. Literally. For some reason, whenever people see my son they tend to remark, "Oh my God! He looks just like your brother!" Mind you, people rarely say the R.A. looks like me. They mostly say he looks like my brother. I know, creepy weird. And it's not a passing resemblance either. My son looks pretty much exactly how my brother looked at age 5 years. Therefore we can confidently deduce that what my brother looks like as an adult is how the R.A. is going to look. (Sorry, R.A., no hair for you! But you will make up for it with thick luxurious eyebrows.)
My brother has been away for several months. We weren't sure how the R.A. would react upon his uncle's re-entry into the old family homestead. His arrival would mean something different from how things usually are and would interrupt routine. We also were uncertain how the R.A. would respond to having another earthling in his precious space - he already has to deal with four excruciatingly stupid earthlings. Would one more earth dope send the R.A. over the edge? Great, great. As if I don't have enough clueless dolts to deal with. Let's just add another to the Dope-a-pah-Loosah Festival. What, are we busing them in now?
We needn't have worried. The R.A.'s fascination for his uncle had not waned. There wasn't even the customary "I need to warily check you out" time (1 - 7 days) that typically accompanies any new person or new situation. I have come to believe that the R.A. holds his uncle in higher esteem than the rest of his family. He doesn't think his uncle is quite as slow as the rest of us. Why? Hey, we're dealing with alien logic here. It might be that the R.A. prefers his uncle's footwear to the rest of the family's. Maybe they don't have hair on the home planet so the R.A. senses a connection with his uncle. It is one of life's mysteries and one of the many that surround the R.A.
Within the first day of my brother's return, the R.A. paid his uncle a visit in his uncle's room. Thrilled, the R.A. ran into my brother's room, literally jumping for joy and stimming for Britain, physically with his hands and orally with his mouth, yowling with glee. And then promptly shut himself in the closet. It's like he was saying, I am ecstatic that you are home. If you need me, you can reach me in the closet. So great to see you! Of course at that moment my brother was strumming his guitar. The closet move may have actually been one of self defense, I'm happy you're home but your guitar playing sucks. As I can't tell you this I will just hang in the closet. Again, we'll never know. So that's how the R.A. and his uncle spent their first visit together. It was pretty mellow. But both enjoyed their time together. That's what it's all about - family spending time together. If we're all honest, most of us would find time spent with certain family members better if we could hide in closets.
The earth-bound adventures of a reluctant alien astronaut and his not overly bright human caretakers.
So what is it like having a child with autism?
So, what is it like having a child with autism?
I get this question a lot and actually like it when people ask. Unless a person has significant contact with someone on the spectrum he/she doesn't really understand what an autism driven world is about. Saying that, it isn't always easy to convey what having a child with autism is like. After much consideration, this is what I've come up with -
For me, having a child with autism is like living with an alien from another planet. I call him the "reluctant astronaut (R.A.)" because he really didn't want to come to earth, had absolutely no interest in this space mission. As a result, he didn't pay much attention at the briefings prior to the mission so doesn't know anything about Planet Earth - nothing about language, customs, or Earthling niceties in general. In fact, he is so disinterested in Earth that even though he was sent here, he has absolutely no desire to assimilate into Earth society. Meaning he still doesn't give a rat's ass about Earth mores.
That's also how I "explain" things he does that are pretty much unfathomable to me. For example - for a certain time period he liked to sit in the toilet. No, not on the toilet but in the toilet. I reasoned that on the home planet the toilet is a jacuzzi. Although eventually we managed to break him of this habit, the jacuzzi explanation popped again during potty training when the R.A. demonstrated not only an aversion to the toilet but would have all out nuttys when placed on one. He was probably thinking, "Poop in the jacuzzi? What is wrong with you people? Miscreants!" That's what he would say if he could speak English or any Earthing dialect.
For a time I was also convinced that not only was he a reluctant astronaut but was actually an alien cat that somehow ended up in a human body. It does make sense -
Cat
Has to everything his way
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto
Cat
Don't touch me!
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto
Cat
Doesn't speak human language
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto
Cat
Doesn't wear clothes
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto (Well, would if he had his way)
Of course I don't really believe my son to be a Reluctant Astronaut.
But sometimes it sure makes sense!
Disclaimer: Although I sometimes describe things about life with my R.A. in a humorous way, please understand that I am not laughing at him. He is my son and I love him very very much. I come from a family that had its share of challenges and I learned from a young age that laughter is powerful. A situation cannot completely hurt you if you are able to find humor and laugh at some parts of it. So that's what I do. And I don't use humor solely with the R.A. My daughter was born with a heart condition that required immediate surgery. (No, I don't make good babies. They come out broken.) She was whisked away by ambulance to the hospital in Boston. It was all unexpected and traumatic. A nice young intern came to speak with my husband and me and was re-assuring us that nothing we had done caused the baby's condition. The stress and sorrow were overwhelming. When the nice young intern concluded I turned to my husband and said, "See, I told you it wasn't from all that smack I did during my pregnancy." The intern froze and then let out this huge belly laugh. Was I appropriate? Probably not. But I had to do something to relieve the stress. Astronaut life is stressful so find the laughter where you can.
And as G.K. Chesterton said, "Humor can get through the keyhole when seriousness is still hammering at the door."
I get this question a lot and actually like it when people ask. Unless a person has significant contact with someone on the spectrum he/she doesn't really understand what an autism driven world is about. Saying that, it isn't always easy to convey what having a child with autism is like. After much consideration, this is what I've come up with -
For me, having a child with autism is like living with an alien from another planet. I call him the "reluctant astronaut (R.A.)" because he really didn't want to come to earth, had absolutely no interest in this space mission. As a result, he didn't pay much attention at the briefings prior to the mission so doesn't know anything about Planet Earth - nothing about language, customs, or Earthling niceties in general. In fact, he is so disinterested in Earth that even though he was sent here, he has absolutely no desire to assimilate into Earth society. Meaning he still doesn't give a rat's ass about Earth mores.
That's also how I "explain" things he does that are pretty much unfathomable to me. For example - for a certain time period he liked to sit in the toilet. No, not on the toilet but in the toilet. I reasoned that on the home planet the toilet is a jacuzzi. Although eventually we managed to break him of this habit, the jacuzzi explanation popped again during potty training when the R.A. demonstrated not only an aversion to the toilet but would have all out nuttys when placed on one. He was probably thinking, "Poop in the jacuzzi? What is wrong with you people? Miscreants!" That's what he would say if he could speak English or any Earthing dialect.
For a time I was also convinced that not only was he a reluctant astronaut but was actually an alien cat that somehow ended up in a human body. It does make sense -
Cat
Has to everything his way
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto
Cat
Don't touch me!
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto
Cat
Doesn't speak human language
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto
Cat
Doesn't wear clothes
Reluctant Astronaut
Ditto (Well, would if he had his way)
Of course I don't really believe my son to be a Reluctant Astronaut.
But sometimes it sure makes sense!
Disclaimer: Although I sometimes describe things about life with my R.A. in a humorous way, please understand that I am not laughing at him. He is my son and I love him very very much. I come from a family that had its share of challenges and I learned from a young age that laughter is powerful. A situation cannot completely hurt you if you are able to find humor and laugh at some parts of it. So that's what I do. And I don't use humor solely with the R.A. My daughter was born with a heart condition that required immediate surgery. (No, I don't make good babies. They come out broken.) She was whisked away by ambulance to the hospital in Boston. It was all unexpected and traumatic. A nice young intern came to speak with my husband and me and was re-assuring us that nothing we had done caused the baby's condition. The stress and sorrow were overwhelming. When the nice young intern concluded I turned to my husband and said, "See, I told you it wasn't from all that smack I did during my pregnancy." The intern froze and then let out this huge belly laugh. Was I appropriate? Probably not. But I had to do something to relieve the stress. Astronaut life is stressful so find the laughter where you can.
And as G.K. Chesterton said, "Humor can get through the keyhole when seriousness is still hammering at the door."
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
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