So what is it like having a child with autism?

So, what is it like having a child with autism?

I get this question a lot and actually like it when people ask. Unless a person has significant contact with someone on the spectrum he/she doesn't really understand what an autism driven world is about. Saying that, it isn't always easy to convey what having a child with autism is like. After much consideration, this is what I've come up with -

For me, having a child with autism is like living with an alien from another planet. I call him the "reluctant astronaut (R.A.)" because he really didn't want to come to earth, had absolutely no interest in this space mission. As a result, he didn't pay much attention at the briefings prior to the mission so doesn't know anything about Planet Earth - nothing about language, customs, or Earthling niceties in general. In fact, he is so disinterested in Earth that even though he was sent here, he has absolutely no desire to assimilate into Earth society. Meaning he still doesn't give a rat's ass about Earth mores.

That's also how I "explain" things he does that are pretty much unfathomable to me. For example - for a certain time period he liked to sit in the toilet. No, not on the toilet but in the toilet. I reasoned that on the home planet the toilet is a jacuzzi. Although eventually we managed to break him of this habit, the jacuzzi explanation popped again during potty training when the R.A. demonstrated not only an aversion to the toilet but would have all out nuttys when placed on one. He was probably thinking, "Poop in the jacuzzi? What is wrong with you people? Miscreants!" That's what he would say if he could speak English or any Earthing dialect.

For a time I was also convinced that not only was he a reluctant astronaut but was actually an alien cat that somehow ended up in a human body. It does make sense -

Cat

Has to everything his way

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto

Cat

Don't touch me!

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto

Cat

Doesn't speak human language

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto

Cat

Doesn't wear clothes

Reluctant Astronaut

Ditto (Well, would if he had his way)

Of course I don't really believe my son to be a Reluctant Astronaut.

But sometimes it sure makes sense!

Disclaimer: Although I sometimes describe things about life with my R.A. in a humorous way, please understand that I am not laughing at him. He is my son and I love him very very much. I come from a family that had its share of challenges and I learned from a young age that laughter is powerful. A situation cannot completely hurt you if you are able to find humor and laugh at some parts of it. So that's what I do. And I don't use humor solely with the R.A. My daughter was born with a heart condition that required immediate surgery. (No, I don't make good babies. They come out broken.) She was whisked away by ambulance to the hospital in Boston. It was all unexpected and traumatic. A nice young intern came to speak with my husband and me and was re-assuring us that nothing we had done caused the baby's condition. The stress and sorrow were overwhelming. When the nice young intern concluded I turned to my husband and said, "See, I told you it wasn't from all that smack I did during my pregnancy." The intern froze and then let out this huge belly laugh. Was I appropriate? Probably not. But I had to do something to relieve the stress. Astronaut life is stressful so find the laughter where you can.
And as G.K. Chesterton said, "Humor can get through the keyhole when seriousness is still hammering at the door."

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I'm Still Your Biggest Fan

This past weekend, the object of the R.A.'s fascination, his uncle, was headed to Chicago (hey, it had been more than a week since he'd been on a trip - he was starting to exhibit symptoms of withdrawal).  Since "Captain Cosmopolitan" was keeping an eye on the R.A. for a bit while we toured the R.A.'s new school (or his new "indoctrination of Earth culture institute" as the R.A. no doubt will refer to it) he brought the R.A. up to his room while he packed for his trip.  The R.A. was delighted to spend more quality time with his uncle.  The R.A. ran right into the closet but as he must be feeling even more comfortable with his idol, he left the closet door open, spending the entire time keenly observing his uncle pack.  My brother said every time he looked in the R.A.'s direction, the R.A. was watching him.  Now the R.A. could have been intrigued by the whole business of packing because the R.A. has only done one overnight vacation in his entire life.  He might have been wondering what his uncle was doing.  On the other hand, the R.A. might simply find his uncle plain fascinating, therefore anything his uncle does warrants paying close attention.

Report to Home Planet
56th of Cryxzl, the year of Our Kitchen God 36,812
Surveillance of the "Uncle" Person
The U.P. continues to be of great interest.  This morning he spent a great deal of time moving random items from various sectors of his living quarters and putting them in a small bag.  We value the constant movement and re-organization of items and it appears the U.P. does too.  I recommend that when the invasion comes, we do not vaporize the U.P.  I am certain that he will prove very useful to us.

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